+ Mel's Pages

+ Welcome to Mel’s pages.

Mel Croucher

You can read the authorised version of his material every month in Computer Shopper. Alternatively, you can view some previews and unedited back-numbers right here.

+ ZYGOTE
click here to read his column on computerised idiocy

+ RANTS & RAVES
click here to read his articles on the technological world

+ GREAT MOMENTS IN COMPUTING
click here to see some of the full horror of his cartoon strips with Robin Evans

+ DEVIL'S ACRE
click here if you want to read an extract from his new novel
[ Microsoft Word - 80Kb ]

So tell us Mel, how did it all begin ...

“It was as big as a bus and as daft as a brush. I could walk about inside it and feel the heat of its valves, and watch those grubby little punch-cards confuse the hell out of it. After six months I taught it to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I remember thinking what a bloody waste of time this computing stuff was, and I’d be better off being a musician, or a cartoonist or maybe an architect. Because they got paid to muck about.”

Mel started out as an architect, which was a mistake. In 1969, the Architect’s Journal awarded him a scholarship that got him as far as Stockholm, where he designed tensile structures to cover sports arenas. The most ambitious thing he ever did was the Mary Rose Pavilion, for Henry VIII’s flagship in Portsmouth Naval Base. That was 1973. Then after a stint as site architect to HRH Sheikh Rashid Al Maktoum, Ruler of Dubai from, he chucked it in.

The story so far ...

+ RECORDED MUSIC ALBUMS
Blind Joe Death (1971)
PiMan (1981)
PiMan’s Greatest Hits Too (1983)
Deus Ex Machina, with Ian Dury (1984)

+ BROADCAST WORK
producer, Whitbread Quiz, Radio Victory (1978-1979)
Magic Micro Mission, as Uncle Groucho, Granada TV (1983)
presenter, The Day Of The Technopath, Dispatches, Channel 4 (1986)
record reviewer, Micronet800, as Doreen Hindley (1986-1989)
writer and performer, Uncle Mel’s Hotline, (1987-1989)

+ NON-FICTION
Namesakes, with Jon Pertwee (1985)
Zygote, monthly computer column (1987 to date)
Sam Coupé, how to program (1989)
editor, European Computer Trade Year Book (1990-1993)
Easy AMOS, Educational Computer Book of the Year (1993)
AMOS Professional, Programming Manual of the Year (1994)
Email Direct Maketing, Institute of Practitioners in Advertising (1999)
Rants And Raves, monthly computer column (2003 to date)

+ FICTION
No Nose O’Toole, SF collection (1977)
Herberts, SF novel (1979)
Tamara Knight, SF serial (1987-1988)
Without Prejudice, comedy serial (1987-1988)
The Rubber Room, comedy serial (1986-1987)
Hack To The Future, comedy serial (1988)
Under The Baudwalk, technophobic serial (1988-1989)
Devil's Acre, historic novel (awaiting publication)

+ CARTOON STRIPS, with Robin Evans
101 Uses Of A Dead Cruise Missile (1984)
Great Moments In Computing, (1987 to date)
Frozen Stiffs (1987-1988)
Mercy Dash (1987-1988)

+ COMPUTER SOFTWARE
Concept, design and production of lots of computer games and utilities (1981 to date)
including:
Can Of Worms
Love And Death
PiMania
Groucho
Deus Ex Machina
Id
as Consultant to Europress Software:
Klik & Play (Multimedia Product of the Year 1995)
Klik & Create (Multimedia Product of the Year 1996)
Fun School (educational software 1995 to 2000)

+ COMPUTER FIRSTS
first multi-media guides, English Tourist Board and others (1977-79)
first broadcast series of computer data via FM radio (1980)
founder of first UK leisure software house (Automata 1977-1985)
first broadcast series of computer data via AM radio (1981)
first computer game stereo soundtrack (Can of Worms Program of the Year 1981)
first real-time leisure guides, for Prestel (1983)
first real-time multi-media computer game (Deus Ex Machina Program of the Year 1984)
first interactive rock music album (See Me, Hear Me, Touch Me 1986)
first million-user internet marketing campaign, for Duracell (1994)
first interactive screen saver, for Nestlé Kit Kat (1995)
first CD-ROM saturation marketing campaign (1999-2001)

+ CORPORATE HISTORY
Partner, Pioneer Design, Stockholm (1970-71)
Architect, Sir William Halcrow & Partners (1975-77)
Managing Director, Automata Ltd. (1977-1985)
CEO, Mel Croucher Ltd. (1984-1988)
Partner, Adware (1988-1993)
CEO, Adware Interactive Marketing Ltd. (1993-98)
CEO, Advanced Interactive Marketing Ltd. (1997-2000)
Chairman, My-Reputation.com Ltd. (2000-2007)
Founder, MelCroucher.com (2000 to date)

Wikipedia’s mutated version of things
+ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mel_Croucher

The Piman Files, World Of Spectrum fan site, with thanks to Paul Jenkinson
+ http://www.worldofspectrum.org/hardware/pi.html

Tamara Knight, the pages that got published
+ www.crashonline.org.uk/36/tknight1.htm

Amstradeus French fan site
+ http://amstrad.cpc.free.fr/article.php?sid=288